No, I’m not crying today, nor am I even sad. I’m not calling this “Lacrimosa” because of my mood (which, quite remarkably, seems to be serene for a change…I guess the tumultuousness has finally subsided; for now anyway). I’m listening to Mozart today; specifically his Requiem. Now, for those who might not know, this was meant to be played at a Requiem Mass…or Mass for the dead, and the Lacrimosa was to be done during the part in the Mass called the Dies Irae (which means “Day of Wrath” I believe). This was during a wonderful time in musical history, when polyphonic music was very much prevalent even during a sombre Mass such as a Requiem. I know many people who would disagree with my positive sentiments regarding polyphony and it’s use in something such as a Mass, but I’m sticking to my opinion. To me, the beauty of the music is very complimentary to the beauty of the Mass itself. But I won’t bore you with why…it tends to get too much into logistics. What can I say, I’m a nerd when it comes to such things.

Back to Mozart’s Requiem…it had been a while since I’d listened to it. I’ve always had a passion for classical music. I think it comes from my somewhat classical background…I tended to migrate toward Puccini and Vivaldi when looking for something to perform vocally…I actually did attempt to perform Whitney Houston once; what a fiasco that was! My Laudamus Te felt so much more comfortable. Anyway… what was I saying? Mozart…right. I’m sure many people would think it odd to listen to a Requiem as a form of enjoyment. But I do enjoy it…immensely even. When the first notes of the Lacrimosa begin, I can already feel the beauty of it. And as progresses, it’s almost as if the music is flowing through me as it builds and builds; like the music is a part of me, or I a part of it. I know this sounds really odd…I’m laughing as I re-read the whole thing. But honestly, it’s not something I can explain. Listening to such wonderful music is sheer ecstasy for me. I really do feel it as it is playing. And this is just from a CD…just imagine how it is for me when it’s being played live. In regards to the Lacrimosa, yes, it was meant to be played for the dead. But that doesn’t take away from the beauty of it all. I could listen to it all day, and not feel the least bit melancholy.

I’m not sure if I even have a point with this post. Sheesh…and it’s not even Monday yet. I think I’m just sensing some kind of a difference in myself as of late. I am feeling a resurgence of parts of my past in some ways…parts that I had long forgotten, and yet never really wanted to. I was always a very musical person (despite my poor attempts in playing the tin whistle, but that’s another story). It was more than something I liked…it was a passion for me. It still is, but I think that there are many aspects of that passion that I’ve ignored for far too long. And I think it’s time to indulge a bit in those passions, even if it is a waste of time in some people’s eyes. The more I’m listening to real music (even if it has been only the past couple of days), I’m remembering how much I loved to sing, and be in a choir and just immerse myself in it all…and I’m realizing how much I really do miss it.

Well, this hasn’t been one of my better postings, that’s for sure. Such is life…you can’t always be witty and brilliant I suppose. Or, in my case, you can’t always attempt to be witty and brilliant, since it always seems to be an attempt rather than an achievement; there will be those days that being introspective is far more appealing and therefore spiritually lucrative. I think that’s what I’ve happened upon here. And with that, I’m off to listen to the rest of Mozart’s Requiem