Someone sent this through an email list I am on…actually the only email list I’m on…and I thought it was funny enough to put on the blog. It’s a different spin on the If You Give A Mouse a Cookie book by Laura Joffe Numeroff: If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.
This one, as the title indicates, is about a mom rather than the proverbial mouse in Ms. Numeroff’s book, but it’s perfect. Whether you have 2 kids or my 11, I think you might get a chuckle out of this.

If you give a mom a muffin She’ll want a strong cup of coffee to go with it, She’ll make herself some.

Her three-year-old will spill the coffee She’ll wipe it up.

While wiping the floor she’ll find dirty socks. She’ll remember she has to do laundry.

When she puts the laundry in the washer, she’ll trip over boots and bump into the box of Goodwill items. Bumping into the Goodwill items will remind her that she has to get these boxes out of her basement and into the car.

When she puts the boxes in the car, she’ll find a bag of groceries and this will remind her she has to cook dinner. She will get out the chicken defrosting in the fridge. She’ll look for her cookbook, “101 Things To Do With Chicken”

The cookbook will be sitting under a pile of mail. She will see the Netflix movie she’s meant to send back and the phone bill, which is due tomorrow.

The checkbook will be in her purse that is being dumped out by her one-year-old. As she bends down to rescue her purse, she’ll smell something funny. She’ll change the baby’s diaper.

While she is throwing away the diaper and searching for the hand sanitizer, the phone will ring. Her three-year-old will answer and hang up. She’ll remember she wants to call a friend – not for coffee, but for a very strong drink.

Thinking of drinking will remind her that she was going to have a cup of coffee in order to stay awake for the rest of the day. And chances are…. If she finds her cup of coffee (which she has to reheat by now), Her children will have eaten the muffin that goes with it.

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