It’s raining today. Again. Normally, for me this would be cause for joy and celebration as I would dance around outside, barefooted, splashing around in the puddles as if I’d somehow miraculously acquired a pair of webbed feet. But I really don’t feel like splashing around today…quite the contrary. I’d much rather snuggle up with a huge blanket in front of a cozy fire and just forget about what it’s like outside. But since I am lacking in the fire department, and the only place to really snuggle up with my huge blanket is a place which is already far too occupied by Izzlets who are watching some Halloween show, I guess I’ll have to make do elsewhere. And that is what I am currently doing as I write this. I am sitting at my kitchen table (which seems to be a bit sticky…who was supposed to wipe it down??), looking out the sliding glass doors at the gloomy world outside. The clouds are hanging low in the sky, and seem to be becoming more and more menacing as the minutes tick by. The trees, which only a week ago were ablaze with colour, have been reduced to skeletal form in anticipation of their long hibernation. Here and there, you can see the stray leaf still clinging to a branch, determined to stay there until the bitter end. But as I watch the leaves that didn’t have quite the staying power flutter by on the brisk wind, I know it won’t be long before those last few are also blowing past my window. I really do feel like those last few leaves today…like at any moment the wind will blow me off my stable branch and into some crazy whirlwind, throwing my life totally off course yet again. I’m just waiting for it to happen.

I know it must seem…especially after all of that…that I’m depressed. I’m really not…it’s just a funk of sorts. One of those days where everything seems to be going wrong and you can’t do anything to fix it. Where you’re feeling rather overwhelmed with the everyday goings on in life…the same ones that you don’t bat an eye at normally. I know that by tomorrow all will be well again, but that’s not always the greatest consolation when you know right now that gust of wind could happen at any moment.

I really do think some if it is due to the gloom outside. It seems to be permeating everything today. Even my iPod, which I turned on to shake the cloudy gloom from my head seems to be plotting against me. Rather than playing my wonderfully upbeat repertoire of music that can’t help but lift the spirits, it seems to be stuck in some kind of rut, playing only those songs which are sad and depressing. Not good when you’re looking to listen to something to make you dance. Instead, I find myself lamenting over someone else’s lost love or life of misfortune. Yes, I agree…I think it’s time to either create a new, upbeat music only, playlist, or turn the darn thing off altogether. At this point, I think I’ll choose the latter. It’s just easier.

I’m sure things will be better tomorrow (after all, it is another day…). Perhaps the sun will be shining and the breeze softly blowing. And maybe my iPod will again be cooperative. One can only hope. But just in case all is not well, I have a stash of chocolate peanut butter ice cream in the freezer. One should always have a Plan B if Plan A doesn’t work out as it should…and chocolate peanut butter ice cream is always a good back up plan. At least here at Casa Izz.

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